So now we’re Rescue Divers
And climbing the PADI scale
We’d like to share some knowledge
Without which you’re likely to fail

For the Gentlemen:
Alcohol and scuba do not mix
It results in irresponsible behaviour,
And there’s something about compressed air
That gives rum a peculiar flavour

For the Ladies:
If your buddy is also your partner,
And he’s dangerously low on air,
Consider your insurance options
And negotiate from there

For the Gentlemen:
If you have to wee in your wetsuit,
Remove your boots with great care,
Because contrary to all expectation
It will have accumulated there.

For the Ladies:
NEVER pass wind in your wetsuit,
For the bubbles expand as you rise,
And by the time you’ve reached the surface
Your backside will have doubled in size.

But most important: find a great team,
Who’ll teach you everything that they know.
Hand over all of your money,
Buddy up, and you’re ready to go.

Serena & Vic Maundrell, Nov 08